November 21, 2013

Day 180

Y'know how sometimes you keep going even though you know you should probably quit while you're ahead? That happened to me in this stupid chess meet today. Seriously, this was like the worst game that I've ever played; every time I wrote down my move on my notation sheet, I felt like I was signing my own death warrant. I just... and this happens every time! Not that I play this badly, but that I always lose! I almost never win, and it's not because I'm not smart enough, nor is it because I'm not clever enough. It's because I'm nervous, tired (these things take place at 7 at night), I lose track of what I'm doing... I just hate it. And I love playing chess. I think chess is a great game, and I'm pretty good at it, but you'd never know looking at my score sheet! God! \I'm really upset (if you couldn't already tell) and part of my upset is because I'm one of the only two people with experience on the team, so me losing is just one more loss my team has to scrape off the floor, and I'm so sorry to my fellow teammates because I'm letting them down and I don't like that. Anyway, let me tell you about all the good things that happened today.

So, we had strings first. I didn't get to play my concerto, which was okay, 'cause we worked on some other fun stuff. In STAM, we did some more review for our test tomorrow, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I hope it goes well. Also, for tomorrow, I'm rehearsing with the school pianist for Monday's Tri-M performance of the Bach A Minor 2nd movement. I practiced it tonight and it's sounding pretty good.

English 12 was a work day. I love my thesis (more on that below), and today I read more of Dangerous Curves, which is just a book that nails what television and films have done in portraying women (hint: they haven't done a very good job). It's just a book that gets it, y'know! So, I read some of that, beefed up my PA (it's now seven pages) and got really scared because my teacher went over the consequences for plagiarism in college! In short: don't do it!

Then came the best part of my day, Modern History! We had the first half of our class's thesis checkin presentations, and it was awesome. My classmates are all so talented and intelligent and wanting to learn! One of my favorite topics that my friend has is she's examining the morality of a superhero and looking at Rorschach and Batman and how their morality is constantly tested! It's a great topic, and I kinda wish I had thought to do it first, but my friend has a firm handle on it, and I'm so happy that she's doing it! Another thesis that was really cool was comparing The Lord of the Rings thematically to Wagner's Ring Cycles and how the two are similar and different. Just fascinating stuff, and I was just so humbled to be in the company of such awesome people with their awesome minds and topics and just yes! I presented today too, by the way. People loved my topic, and they had some super awesome suggestions and paths that I may consider pursuing once I get to writing my outline.

So, that was just a great way to end the school day. Chess was hell, but that didn't diminish the awesome that was the thesis check-in presentation thing. I just want to write so much about it now! It's so cool that my class, and really my whole school, has that drive in us to write about what we love, and that we're able to do it is something that I cherish and something that makes me so happy that I chose my school. I came home and practiced the hell out of the violin. I played through my concerto and worked out some hard bits and pieces, so I'm feeling better about it now. Wish me luck on my STAM test tomorrow, everyone!  

No comments:

Post a Comment