December 29, 2011

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2011

Okay, so with every top 10 best list comes a top 10 worst list, though in this case, I didn’t see a lot of bad movies this year, so I’ve had to make a top 5 list, because a top 8 would then necessitate the need to see movies like Shark Night 3D, and with a name like that, you know its gonna be bad. So anyway, here’s my top 5 worst movies of 2011 list. Enjoy.

5. Green Lantern- A superhero movie that is worse than Elektra? Yes, Green Lantern, you win. This film is ridiculous. Okay, here’s its main problem: it was written by the guys who wrote that short-lived superhero family show No Ordinary Family, which had bad dialogue and writing all over the place. Well, this one has all of that, but its crunched into a two-hour timeframe, so you don’t have time to recover. Hal Jordon’s character is okay, but he’s not really memorable, and Ryan Reynolds didn’t give a damn about his role at all. The plot doesn’t make sense; I was sitting there, trying to figure out how that happened and why that was going on and so forth. The film stops and starts so often that by the time the movie was over and I came out of the film, I just felt exhausted. It’s not good. Not good at all.

4. New Years Eve- The antithesis to Lost, this film had about twenty characters that just didn’t matter. I’m weeping in frustration as a write this, I really am. The movie’s about New Years Eve, but it didn’t even stay in theaters long enough to last until New Years eve. This was just a boring plot mixed with useless characters that will be forgotten by all who saw it the moment they walk out of the theater.

3. Conan the Barbarian- Yeah, the unofficial sequel to Clash of the Titans… and it’s as bad as that description makes it out to be. This movie had one good thing in it and that was Conan’s character. Like Green Lantern, this one is okay, but the action scenes are cheesy and the lead actress in this film plays the dumbest character on the planet. The editing is weird, the end fight scene is really anti-climactic, and its just a really bad time. Don’t see it.

2. Priest- This one I actually didn’t see in the theaters; I saw it with a friend at his house. Dude purchased it from Apple TV. Dude. Really bad purchase, man. Anyway, I don’t even know who the main actor is; he’s some guy that always stars in really shitty movies, and doesn’t seem to realize that they’re bad. Everything about this movie made the plot of Green Lantern make sense. Really bad purchase, just sayin’.

1. Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1- Y’know what Twilight is like? Twilight is like aids: it’s there, you see it, you hate it, and then you forget about it. And then it comes back, but its even worse. This movie is the worst of the franchise, and yes, I saw it. It certainly wasn’t by choice; my strings class, which is comprised of five girls and four guys, went to see this film in celebration of one of our classmates coming back from Germany for Christmas break. Yeah, that really happened. This movie… just… I can’t even. These actors, I swear, never seem to understand that they can’t act at all! Usually I don’t criticize the actor’s acting ability; I criticize the director’s ability to direct the actor. But for God’s sake, guys. If this movie were a person, it’d be Hitler. Yeah, that about sums it up.

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